Comfortably Miserable? There's Only One Way Out
You’re not failing, but you’re not exactly excelling, either. You look around, and you seem to be doing okay, you may even be doing a lot better than a lot of people around you.
But there’s something inside you screaming out for more. You know you have something, you know you can do more, but you're yet to give anything a proper go.
It’s living without purpose or meaning, with short-term pleasures getting you through time. Each day of your life is okay individually, but in conjunction, they compound into a state of frustration.
Who do you think you’re fooling? There is a version of you out there that has everything you want, and they’re inside your head all day long, staring, watching, judging, and waiting for you to let them out.
Ignore them all you want, they’re not going anywhere. They’ll be there until you finally bring them to light, or until you die.
You’re comfortably miserable. And when you’re in this state, sometimes, you’d be better off without the comfortable part. Sometimes, it would be better if things were worse.
If you got cheated on, it would force you to finally leave the “okay” relationship.
If you were to get sacked, it would force you to leave the job you only turn up to for the paycheck.
And if you were to have a mental breakdown, it would force you to change your ways.
When things are bad but good enough to put up with, we can find ourselves existing within the comfortable-miserable state forever.
It’s so common, but many people accept it, make excuses for it, and shove it under the rug. Whilst others build the lives they’ve always dreamed of.
The difference between the two? Well, there are many, but there is one that comes first, and if you get it right, you can finally start living the life you want instead of the one you settle for.
Responsibility - The Only Way Out
The truth is, I haven’t been totally honest, because when I said you’d be better off being worse, I lied.
The truth is, without the ability to take responsibility, you’d probably just get used to whatever state you’re in, regardless of how bad it got. You might forgive the cheater, get another job of the same quality and blame your mental breakdown on anything other than yourself.
That’s why the better way to make your situation worse is to start taking responsibility for who and where you are.
Responsibility is refusing to blame anything or anyone, it’s accepting your situation and truly coming to terms with the fact that the only thing controlling the direction in which you’re headed is you.
Doing this only makes things worse in the short term because now, not only do you not like where you are, but it’s also on you. This is painful, but it’ll set you free.
The way out of a comfortably miserable state is for the pain of staying the same to be worse than the pain of change. Well, taking responsibility is the healthiest form of that pain.
The reason you’re not rich is not because of luck, it’s because of you.
The reason you’re not in shape is not because of your big bones, it’s because of you.
The reason you’re not successful is not because of the school system, it’s because of you.
When you release yourself from the stories you believe that excuse you, you’ll finally give yourself a way out.
There are some people out there who “Can’t” run a marathon because they have a child to look after. Fair enough, right? Then there are those who run the marathon whilst carrying the child, or pushing their child in a pram.
The only difference is that one takes full responsibility over themselves and their situations, whilst the other limits themselves for the sake of ease and comfort.
If your problems aren’t in your control, how do you expect to change them?
The people who understand this get the life they want, the ones who don’t, well, don’t…
The sooner you start taking ultimate responsibility for yourself and your life, the faster you’ll get the life you want.
Start now.