Can People Really Change?

We don’t get to choose our parents.

We don’t get to decide where we’re born.

We don’t get to decide how we’re brought up.

So much of who we are is random. By the time we’re conscious enough to understand ourselves, we’re already close enough to being fully formed. Physically and psychologically.

But, just because we didn’t fully have control over who we have become, that doesn’t suggest we have just as little control over who we’ll be in the future.

There is a common notion amongst people, especially cynics, that people don’t change.

Mostly stemming from a negative experience or broken trust, some people genuinely believe that people cannot change.

However, I’d argue that this couldn’t be further from the truth, and people can change most of who they are, especially the parts that truly make a difference.

You can’t change who you’re attracted to, what foods you’re allergic to, what music makes you feel good and what phobias you have. These are random, a combination of genetics and upbringing.

But this isn’t really the important stuff, anyway. What matters is what you believe you can do, who you believe you are, and the people/conditions with which you live. All can be bent, shifted, and improved.

Your self-belief dictates what you aim for and how high, your self-identity tells the story of who you think you are, and your environment dictates almost everything.

All three may still have been random up until now, but the future of all three is completely in your control.

If you don’t like who you are, you can change. If you don’t like where you are, you can move. If you don’t like where you’re headed, you can change direction. 

You’re not stuck, and you have time. 

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the next best time is right now.