When Thinking Becomes The Problem - How To Get Out of Your Own Way

I was once stuck as someone I didn't like. 

I knew I wanted something better. I knew I could do more, be more. But that's where it always ended: in my head.

Anxious, depressed, lonely, directionless, and numbing the feelings with doomscrolling, snacks, and video games.

Not only did I not like how I felt, what I was doing or who I was becoming, but I also knew that it was in my control.

Even though I had accepted that what led me to this point wasn’t exactly my fault, I had finally let it sink in that the only one who could change my situation was me.

Still, there was a missing piece of the puzzle: I just couldn’t get out of my own way. Lost in my own head, I was trying to think my way out of a problem caused by that very same thinking. A true analysis paralysis. 

I’d spend hours thinking about my problems, promising myself that tomorrow would be different, yet somehow nothing changed.

What I needed was to get out of my own way. And so I asked the question: If I could stop thinking altogether and just simply act, what would undoubtedly get me out of this rut?

The answer to that question was short, yet simultaneously overwhelming. The answer? A lot.

Despite how daunting that felt, I also felt something I hadn't felt in a long time: relief. For the first time, I wasn't searching for a way out, I had one. Finally, a light appeared at the end of what seemed like an infinitely dark tunnel.

I made plenty of mistakes along the way, but years later I can honestly say that changing my life wasn't about getting everything right. It was about focusing on a handful of actions that led the charge.

If any of this feels familiar, I hope my experience reminds you that change is possible. Looking back, three things made the biggest difference in helping me get out of my head and change my life.

Meditation

The first thing that changed everything was meditation. Not because it stopped my thoughts, but because it stopped me believing every thought I had. 

A huge misconception is that the goal of meditation is to reach a state where your mind goes completely numb. No thoughts, no feelings, just pure nothingness.

I’m not suggesting this state doesn’t exist, I just think the benefits of meditation go far beyond the sorts of benefits that numbing your mind provides.

When you sit down and do your very best to focus on one single thing, maybe your breath, maybe a specific noise or a physical sensation, or even all of the above, you’ll quickly realise how little control you have over your mind.

You might not even reach the full duration of a single breath without wandering off in thought. This was definitely the case for me.

When memories, song lyrics, images, scenarios, and completely made-up sentences randomly pop into your head, there is no other choice but to start seeing them objectively.

The problem with living inside your own mind is that there is no separation between you and your thoughts. You identify with them, you believe them, you act upon them, you become them.

Meditation and what you experience during it create a divide between the two. This separation allows you to no longer be controlled by your thoughts, and you’ll start seeing them for what they really are: thoughts.

Meditation is building the muscle of the mind. Every time you catch yourself in thought and bring your attention back to your breath is a repetition. With enough repetition, that muscle gets stronger, and the freer you become.

Your thoughts can only keep you down for as long as they have power, meditation is the most effective way I know of removing that power.

So long as you're alive, you’re going to think, and if thinking is the root cause of most of your problems, it might be time to change your relationship with them.

Take Meaningful Action

Once I stopped believing every thought, I noticed something else: I was waiting to feel ready before acting. That day never came. 

Sometimes we can get caught waiting for the perfect time to act, thinking we’ll know when we’re ready, but this just isn’t true. There is no perfect time, everything you’re waiting to feel comes as a consequence of action, not the other way around.

But what exactly do you do? What action do you take?

Well, things really started to shift with me when I directed my attention towards building something big, difficult, something that would take a long time to complete, something meaningful.

I started spending less time thinking about myself and my problems, and more time thinking about the thing I was building.

Building something meaningful turns you from a consumer into a creator. It removes an element of the self, not in a negative way, but in a way that reduces constant rumination.

It gives you purpose.

The next question is, what meaningful action do you choose? And this is the pivotal moment that stops most people from ever doing anything.

It could be building a business, taking the course that’s always interested you, writing a book, making art, or music, it doesn't matter. What it is doesn’t matter nearly as much as your commitment to it. If it piques your curiosity, captures your attention and is challenging, then it’s worth pursuing.

But how do you make sure you’re making the right choice? The answer is: You don’t.

You can’t make the right choice because you’re yet to acquire the information needed to do so, and the only way to receive that information is by first doing anything.

Do not waste your time trying to make the right choice because any choice for you right now is right, even if at a later stage you decide to do something completely different.

Most people don’t want to risk spending their time and effort doing something that they know might be wrong, but what they don’t see is that the only alternative is doing nothing, which only guarantees the very thing they're afraid of.

If you’re yet to know what you truly want, why do you think that continuing to do what you’ve always done will change that?

You don't discover what matters to you by thinking. You discover it by trying something, making mistakes, changing direction, and gradually learning what energizes you and what doesn't. Every action teaches you something that thinking alone never could. 

It took me 4 businesses and a university course before finally deciding to work on my current pursuit. Each one felt right at the time, but each one taught me something that led to the next. Without each and every one of them, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

Looking back, there would have been no direct route to where I am today. I would not be where I am today without the “failed” attempts.

Every time you get it wrong, you’re one step closer to getting it right.

Aligning Your Environment 

After my thinking improved and I started taking action, things seriously started looking up for me, but somehow, I still kept falling back into old patterns. No matter how hard I tried, it felt as though I was hitting an invisible ceiling. 

Eventually, I realised the problem wasn't just my relationship with my thoughts and the actions I took, it was everything surrounding it. 

From the foods you eat, the content you consume, to the route you decide to commute. Everything within your environment plays a role.

The question is, does your environment promote happiness and growth, or limit them? Does it support and help you go where you’re headed, or only hold you back?

The good news is you have complete control over your environment. Some decisions will be harder than others, but everything and everyone around you is optional, no matter how hard it is to accept.

If you’re trying to chase your dreams but your friends make fun of you.

If you’re trying to lose weight but keep your favourite snacks in the cupboard.

If you’re trying to think more positively but start each day by watching the news.

These are all examples of environments that are designed to hold you back and directly contradict your goals.

Changing yourself without addressing everything around you is like running into a brick wall and thinking that a faster pair of shoes might help. You could be doing everything perfectly, but if the brick wall is still there, you’re not going anywhere.

This one took me much longer than the others to learn, as your environment, although it affects everything, almost never shows anything. It’s not always obvious what’s causing the issue because what’s causing the issue may have been there your entire life.

But it doesn’t have to take you as long, so ask yourself this: What in my environment is quietly influencing me every day?

What do I see? What do I listen to? Who do I interact with? What habits do I refuse to let go? 

Ask whether these things are promoting your growth, holding you to a higher standard and inspiring you, or doing the opposite. 

You don’t have to change your entire life overnight, start with the small things and work your way up. Everything compounds.

Looking back, it’s clear to me that if I never decided to take real action, I would still be trying to solve my problems inside my head today. 

I didn’t need to solve my problems by thinking about them, I never could’ve. I needed to get out of my own way.

Sometimes thinking helps us move forward. But when thinking becomes the problem, it might be time to stop searching for the perfect answer and just act, one step at a time.