The Fear of Achieving Your Goals

Can someone really fear their own goals?

We set goals and work so hard for them because we want to achieve them, so why would anyone be scared of doing so?

As humans, we’re full of contradictions. Our fascinating and equally weird brains cause us to think, feel and do things that run completely counter to what we expect.

And, unfortunately, achieving our goals is one of them.

We’re not scared the moment we set them, or the months or years that we’re chasing them. It’s when achieving them is within sight that the fear kicks in.

But why? How can we be scared of what we so badly want?

Trying Is Safe

It’s for the very reason we want them so badly that we begin to fear getting them.

See, trying is safe, trying is fun, we get caught up in our own improvement, lost in the imagination of what just might happen once we finally make it.

But when the hypothetical slowly turns into something we can actually grasp, something shifts.

Suddenly, we’re no longer lost on the climb with our heads down in the dirt, we now see the horizon, and with it, we start imagining the fall.

When success is visible, the problem goes from questioning whether you can actually get it to worrying about what happens when you do. Can you sustain it? What if it’s not all that it’s meant to be? 

What happens when the book gets finished? Or the business goes public? Or when all the training is done, and now you just have to race?

This is without mentioning how addictive it can be to be the person who is constantly striving and improving. And sometimes, we’re just not ready to give that identity up.

When success is distant, you’re safe from failure, safe from being seen, safe from the reality of what comes when you actually make it. But success is a different kind of test, it’ll force you to quickly find out whether all of your work has actually been worth it.

What Being Scared of Your Own Goals Looks Like

You might think that being afraid of your own success would be obvious enough to see. Panic, inaction or sheer avoidance. However, it’s a lot more subtle and sometimes the complete opposite.

It’s procrastinating tasks you used to do without problems, it’s adding unnecessary tasks, and it’s convincing yourself that you’re just not quite ready for the success you want.

Suddenly, you start delaying tasks until after the holiday or when the market changes or when the moon cycle aligns.

You become more distracted than ever. More addicted to easy dopamine, doomscrolling or playing video games. Doing anything besides the work that might actually get you over the line.

You’re not conscious of why you're doing it, but you’re doing it all the same.

The excitement you once had disappears and turns into caution and fear of what it might be like to have it.

Motivation decreases, drive fades and questions about whether what you’re doing is right increase.

Figuring out whether you’re scared to win might not be found in the way you feel, but within the actions you take. Your behaviour tells you what you need to know.

Don’t worry, if this is you, it might not all be doom and gloom. Think about it: if you’ve begun to act in a manner that suggests you’re afraid to succeed, it means that what you’ve been working so hard for is close enough to be afraid of.

It’s working, and being afraid of winning doesn’t suggest anything about the goal, it only confirms what we already know to be true: you’re human.

You haven’t worked this hard to stop now. Starting was scary, working hard with no reward was scary, and now winning is scary. But don’t let fear stop you.

Get yourself over that line and win.