Responsibility - The First Step To Change
There are many things that go into changing for the better as a person, as is evident through my writing. But there is one that I believe comes before any other.
I have covered this topic a couple of times in the past, but I wouldn’t be doing it justice if I didn’t do so again.
Without the ability to take responsibility, you’ll always be letting your situations and problems control you, have power over you.
Without taking responsibility, you limit your potential and put a cap on how much you’re able to change for the better.
It’s safe to say you should think about starting to take responsibility, but why?
Why Is Responsibility So Vital?
Responsibility is the first step to self-improvement.
A lack of responsibility suggests being the victim; it means you outwardly project your shortcomings onto external people or circumstances. And being this way means never changing.
This is why it’s the first step: If you don’t take responsibility for something, you have no power over it, and without that, you can’t change it.
This is why so many people never change.
“My parents aren’t rich, and that’s why I’m not successful”
“If my genetics were good, I could finally compete”
“I’m only working here because school didn’t support me”
Now take all of these examples and ask yourself where these people will be in 20 years time.
This is why it’s so vital; this is why it’s the first step, because without the ability to take responsibility, you agree to stay the same forever.
What Does It Actually Look Like?
It might sound like I’m saying that in order to take responsibility, you first have to practice forgiveness, and although there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s not exactly what I mean.
Practically, taking responsibility is taking a situation and then asking yourself the following set of questions.
- Do I want to let this dictate who I am for the rest of my life?
- What would it take for me to grasp the situation and take control?
- Can I break that down into actionable steps?
- What would the very next step be?
Then, you just go and do that.
Once you start, you’ll see the power that it has, and you’ll start taking responsibility in every possible situation, even when it’s not yours to take.
Once you get good at doing it for yourself, you can start taking responsibility for others.
Responsibility Vs Blame
If you think taking responsibility means blaming yourself, think again.
Responsibility removes any form of blame altogether; it means forgetting about the reason why something happened and instead shifting your focus to how you’re going to move forward in a manner that best suits you.
No, having a terrible childhood was not your fault, but it is now your responsibility.
No, being cheated on by the love of your life was not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
The list could go on forever.
Initially, this sucks. Avoiding responsibility is comfortable because it justifies your shortcomings. Responsibility is uncomfortable because you finally admit that who and where you are in life is in your control.
One keeps you down, the other allows you to grow.
By continuing to blame the reasons why, you simultaneously give them power. Considering that whoever or whatever is most likely not going to reappear and undo the damage, you should probably consider doing so yourself.
So do yourself a favour, stop blaming and start taking responsibility.