Redefining Success

When the term success is mentioned, what pops into your head?

The typical association with the word would be money, fast cars, big houses and expensive watches. What’s quite comical about this is the fact that these are all materialistic things, things that should probably be the least associated with success.

I have used the terms success and successful a number of times during these blogs without the clarification of what they mean. This is because I have always known that the term is subjective, and it is up to you to define what I mean when I use it.

However, I have also known that there is a tendency to see success as a predefined and objective term, which is the inspiration for this blog.

Attempting success, whatever it means for you, is already a difficult enough road as it is, without the added burden of questioning the very thing you’re working towards on top. 

This blog aims to highlight some of the troubling aspects of the term success and attempt to give you an alternative way of thinking in order to help you come up with your own personal definition.

Let’s start with some of the problems.

Chasing Someone Else's Dream

Whether it be chasing your parents' version of success and dream, or chasing the societal norms version, you could get caught wanting and striving for something that you’ve never truly wanted, whilst being fully convinced that you do.

I know this may be hard to believe for some of you, as it can be difficult to conceptualise how someone can actually want something they don’t in fact want.

This is the problem with conditioning: we can be led and convinced to believe something, regardless of whether we believe it or not. And sometimes, this can be what we believe to be success.

I want you to play out what it may look like to become successful or achieve a dream that isn’t even yours, as it must be an extremely empty feeling, one that should definitely be avoided at all costs.

Some people graduate, as that’s what you’re supposed to do, or they’ll strive to make millions, because a successful 19-year-old on Instagram told them to.

Whatever it may be, make sure you chase it for the right reasons, ensure the dream you're chasing is truly yours.

Money

Money is an essential part of life; ignoring such a fact is pure ignorance, but it’s the act of relying heavily on money that can lead to quite a few problems.

If at the end of every month you are waiting for the next paycheck to come in or you’re struggling to heat your home and put food on the table, then money will contribute to your lack of happiness.

The problem is that once these essential needs are taken care of, and money is no longer a limiting factor, it no longer has any bearing whatsoever on how happy you are.

Yet, people still depend on and expect money to solve all of their problems. They attach they’re lack of unhappiness to their lack of financial freedom, and believe that one will solve the other.

They then strive for and chase a specific amount of money before allowing themselves to be happy. This is a never-ending trap that should be avoided at all costs.

If money is a motivator for you, you need to figure out why. Go beyond the obvious, and truly work out what the money you’re working for will do for you, what makes it such an attractive destination? Only then would it be rational to spend years working towards it.

Success As The Destination

When you ask some people what they picture retirement to look like, they describe themselves sitting on the beach with a cocktail in their hands, as this sounds so magical, right?

But then what? What they described is a moment, it’s an image, not a future. How long could they spend on the beach, and how many cocktails could they have before they’re absolutely craving a stressful deadline they need to reach?

This is why so many retirees either go back to working or even pass away shortly after retirement. We need something to do, something to work towards.

Success isn’t a destination, it’s a lifestyle. You need to answer one important question: when you reach your version of success, then what? 

This is why ensuring that your version of success isn’t a destination, but a way of living. You need to realise that as human beings, we will always look for the next thing. The moment you reach your ideal version of success, you’ll come up with another.

This is the game we play, which can only be okay if you know you’re playing the game. You need a goal, an aim, to know where you’re going, but you also need to know that you’ll always be going somewhere.

Every goal is temporary, every destination is a beginning.

Your Version Of Success

To avoid reaching goals that aren’t yours and to avoid living a life you do not want, you need to figure out what success looks like for you.

But before you do that, you’ll need to unravel the reasons why you believe in your current versions of success.

Whether it be a phrase your parents always used, or wanting success as a scapegoat to insecurity, you need to unpack the reasons; only then should you figure out what you truly want.

It may help to deeply ponder what you want waking up 10 years from now to look like, what you will do, where you will do it, who you will do it with, how you will think, and how you will feel. These are the important questions to ask yourself, as they will help paint a better picture of true success, and a version of success that is actually yours.

There is only so much advice that someone you’ve never met can give you on what you should aim for; as for this, the job is yours.

So, go figure out what you currently want, why it is that you want it, and what it might be that you truly want instead, then go get it.

I wish you all the luck I can give.