If It Frightens You, Do It

We are human beings, and as such, we feel fear and anxiety, and have done so for millions of years.

Therefore, it’s safe to say it’s a part of us, it’s who we are.  However, it’s the manner in which we react to these emotions that gets us in trouble.

Although we still need these emotions, as they keep us alive in certain situations, they also keep us down during challenging times, during times of growth and success.

The feeling of uncertainty during something like a job interview or a public performance can sometimes cause enough fear and anxiety to stop us from even turning up.

It doesn’t take an introspective genius to figure out why this might be a problem.

So how do we get ourselves through the discomfort of fear nd anxiety during challenging events or situations?

Why

Before we get into what might help us get through them, let’s first discuss the reasons why you may want to even bother doing so in the first place.

After all, if they make us feel uncomfortable, why even force ourselves through it? Why not just avoid anything that scares us?

If this were our attitude, as it is for many, we’d simply never grow. The paradoxical truth about fear and anxiety is that although it feels like we’re dying, we’re actually thriving, and although avoiding fear feels like we’re surviving, we’re actually dying.

“When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump, otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life, and that I can't do.” - Abel Morales

See, without the experience of fear and anxiety, we’re remaining within the confines of our comfort zone, a place where dreams go to die.

Although uncomfortable, having the experience of fear or anxiety, and forcing oneself through and experiencing success on the other side is the very thing that makes us grow.

It’s the very thing that builds self-belief and confidence. See, when faced with uncertainty and feeling fear as a result, we’re questioning ourselves. We’re wondering if we have what it takes, and not knowing the answer frightens us and makes us anxious.

This is the very moment we should commit, as the only real way to know what we’re capable of is to find out, and doing so builds a catalogue of evidence, which is the only thing that creates true confidence.

Another reason why you should face the fear is that it builds resilience. The harsh truth is, you’re not going to succeed every time, and that’s okay.

Not only is failing necessary, as it teaches us what we need to know to go again and succeed, but also because the experience of failing is never as bad as our perception of it.

We’re scared to fail, and sometimes this fear can completely consume us. However, the true experience of it almost never lives up to that fear, which is something we can only truly learn through failing.

Also, there won’t be a shortage of these situations in life, and if you aim to avoid them, you’ll only increase the fear of future situations. By continuously facing fear, you increase your capacity to deal with it, and who doesn’t want that?

How

Okay, facing fear is worth doing, noted. But how do we actually do it?

This section won’t give you a magic potion that will completely eliminate your fear; What it will do is highlight some ideas and insights that might help you reduce the fear to a degree, but most importantly, change your relationship with it. 

The only real thing you can do besides actually doing the thing that frightens you is mentally reframe the situation.

If you can view the fear differently, you experience it differently.

If you’re hyperfixated on the negatives that can come from something, then start there.

Instead of thinking “This could go horribly wrong”, you think “This could go wrong, but it could also go right, and I trust I could handle either way”

The trick is not to fool yourself; people get stuck trying to convince themselves that things will go perfectly. The problem is, they know deep down it probably won’t, and even if it will, they have no way of knowing so.

So the best thing to do is be honest with yourself, it’s giving in to the uncertainty but focusing on the one thing that will be in your control, how you’ll react to either outcome.

Another good way of mentally reframing is embracing the fear; sometimes, fear is automatic; it’ll happen subconsciously, but it’s our conscious and deliberate reaction to that fear that makes things so much worse.

The next time you get scared, try to catch it early and do your best to view that fear as a positive.

Our reaction to fear is to see it as a negative; this only increases the fear and makes us feel worse, but if we’re able to embrace the fear, see it as a sign that we’re growing and view it as a necessary requirement of doing something important, it can reduce a lot of unnecessary suffering.

And that’s it, that it why and how to deal with fear and anxiety during challenges.

Don’t fear fear, seek it, use it, and grow from it.