The Loneliness Of Serious Ambition

The bigger your goal, the harder it is to “fit in”.

When no one can relate to what you’re doing, when you’re not aware of a single person who’s trekking the same path, and when you start lying to avoid the confusion on their face and the dozens of questions that follow. It can be quite a lonely place.

It’s not necessarily the intent of their questions that leads you to lie, it’s how the questions remind you of just how far apart you truly are.

The questions shrink your thinking, not expand it.

It feels as though you’re defending the idea, not building upon it.

The moment you tell them what you’re doing feels as though you’re blowing their reality apart, it instantly creates a sense of isolation and loneliness.

Just think about it for a second. You’re talking to a seemingly normal person, maybe even “successful” in the eyes of many. They speak to countless people each day, they’ve lived half a lifetime, or more, they have money, maybe kids, a job, and an entire life of their own in the same society as yours.

And yet, when you tell them the thing you’re working toward and spend most of your time thinking about, it’s like you’ve just told them that your true identity is that of an alien.

You can see it. You can feel it. It’s like the conversation comes alive. “What did he just say?” is written all over them. 

The bigger your ambition, the fewer people there are to relate to, and the more isolating it becomes.

And so... you say nothing.

“What have you done today?” “Ah, you know, not much” Knowing full well you’ve dedicated your entire day to getting even an inch closer to where you want to be. 

You’re working with your head down, running into setbacks, questioning everything, with not a single person who can relate.

The problem isn’t the loneliness or isolation themselves, it’s what these feelings and assumptions lead to.

When your goal is something other people can’t even imagine, it can easily lead you into thinking that you’re the problem. If you’re the odd one out, maybe it actually is unrealistic to think you can achieve it?

This is a trap, one you should avoid falling into.

Instead, ask yourself, would the people who have already achieved your goal react the same way? How would having a conversation with them go? Would it blow their minds?

No, of course it wouldn’t. And there are people like that out there.

The loneliness is temporary. There are more than enough people out there who want, are working toward, and have succeeded at goals of the same magnitude as yours.

It's your job to just hang in there until you find them.