The Courage To Be Disliked

“Everything you want is on the other side of cringe”.

Coming from the UK, it’s standard to mock, judge and otherwise take the piss out of others who try to do something with their lives.

Crabs in a bucket, as it were.

If you don’t already know, put a bunch of crabs in a bucket and eventually, through sheer desperation, one will eventually reach the top by climbing on top of the rest, but before it can get out, the other will pull it back down.

If we’re going to die, so are you.

This is exactly how it feels living here. People see others actually trying something, thus reminding them of the dreams they've ignored, and instead of letting that discomfort push them forward, they’d rather pull that individual down through judgment and mockery.

I cannot describe to you how much I hate this.

I think the UK has it worse due to its culture and history, we’ve never really historically had anyone to look up to. Maybe the odd singer or movie star, but our counterparts in the US grew up literally watching people land on the moon on TV, so "reaching for the stars” seemed a little less hypothetical to them.

Either way, it’s probably also common enough in the US, and everywhere else in the world, too.

But, if you had the courage to be disliked, the courage to be “cringe”, and truly didn't care what others thought or said, what would you do? 

People let the fear of what others might say prevent them from even trying to live a life that would actually fulfil them. How depressing.

But it’s only cringey until it works. Trying to do something is cringe, but succeeding gets all the applause. Correct me if I’m wrong, but nothing worth applauding has ever been done without the act of trying.

Congratulations, you were mocked less, maybe even liked a little more, but who was it they liked, exactly?

See, when you live an inauthentic life just for the sheer sake of being mocked less, the best thing you can get is people liking a false version of you. They don’t actually like you, they just like whatever you’ve pretended to be to please them…

Or, you can have the courage to be disliked and actually create real connections.

I’d rather be liked less, but be liked for being me, without the fear of judgment preventing me from expressing myself, than be liked for something I’m not.

Untold freedom comes from actively choosing to ignore the opinions of others.

This doesn’t mean wearing pyjamas in public, or refusing to brush your teeth because you “no longer care what people think about my smelly breath”.

It’s telling the truth, it’s making that video, or writing that book, or chasing that dream. It’s doing whatever the hell you want to do and not concerning yourself with the opinions of others.

If they don’t have what you want, don’t care what they think.

Would the people who have succeeded at what you want laugh at you for trying? I doubt it. 

If they’re someone who would rather laugh than cheer you on, then their opinions are not worth caring about anyway. The literal act of them mocking you deemed them to be a person not worth thinking about.

So, go do it. Don’t be a crab in a bucket, put yourself in the firing line until it no longer bothers you, the life you want is waiting.