The Adulthood Trap - Why Life Feels Faster As You Get Older
“Time goes by so quickly”
Does it? Or you were just never there to begin with?
Most of the time, we’re either dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, and before you know it, the present becomes the past. If you’re never where your feet are, then of course, time seems to disappear before you can blink.
I’ve been thinking lately of life's defining moments, which are simply major changes in one's life. And, as it happens, most of these defining moments happen when you’re young.
You change schools as you age, you pass your driving test, you have your first kiss, your first job, moving away from home, and losing your virginity.
These shifts in environments and changes of self are what make the first 20 years of your life feel like an entire lifetime.
Of course, defining moments happen when you're older, too, like having kids, for example. But even that can come young. And most of what you might call defining moments that occur later in life stem from something negative, such as losing someone we love.
It seems as though we live, then we get a job, and then, just wait to die…
But why? What happens? Why do we stop living?
Why is it that when someone young goes travelling, it’s encouraged by the saying “Do it while you can”? Hang on, what exactly makes it so that the only chance we have to experience the world is before “growing up”?
We say these things as throw-away comments, mantras, and never even bother to question them.
But they guide our lives, we live by them, we believe them, we follow their rules.
A saying like that suggests that adulthood is a prison, with bills, taxes and “responsibilities” as handcuffs, bars and fences.
Nothing scares me more than a pension. Yes, let’s work a job we hate and be miserable for the next 50 years until we retire, too old and tired to make up for a wasted life.
I’m not suggesting we pack up and become travellers. I’m simply asking the question, why do we stop living?
Why not take a risk, make a change, fail miserably, try again, solve problems, and see new places?
We get caught up in the facade of safety and reliability, job security, mortgages and depts. But we’re human beings, we’re designed for so much more than that.
The defining moments that happen during our younger years are what make that time feel infinite, and it’s the lack of them and the constant predictability of the years that follow that blend them.
If nothing major changes for an extended period of time, that time’s perceived duration shrinks, creating the illusion of time passing by quickly. No, you just did nothing worth remembering.
To me, it’s simple, I’d rather lie on my deathbed with less money and fewer regrets than have it the other way round. This is why I plan to have as many defining moments as I can before that day comes.
The avoidance of failure is simultaneously an avoidance of success and adventure. You cannot have one without the other. So if there’s one thing to overcome before it’s too late, it’s the avoidance of failure.
What will your next defining moment be?