Becoming Stoic - Bridging the Gap Between Emotion and Logic

A lot of people think stoicism is unhealthy, they hear “controlling your emotions” and instantly think of an emotionless robot, but that’s simply not it.

Most people can logically see what the best way of reacting to their emotions would be, but not many believe that reacting in such a way is actually possible. 

They lose? Negative self-talk

They get insulted? Insult back.

They get cut up in traffic? Get angry and start beeping.

They know it does nothing, but they just can’t help it. Stoicism isn’t shutting your emotions off: it’s bridging the gap between knowing what the best logical way of dealing with your emotions is, and doing just that.

The idea is that if it’s not in your control, why let it control you? If what other people say/do and completely random life events control how you feel, you‘ll be enslaved by things you can’t change.

What you can change, though, is how you interpret them, control them, and how you react.

And as impossible as it may seem to react to things in the healthiest way possible, all it takes is a little practice. 

With a combination of attention and action, you too can become stoic, to control your emotions in a way that truly helps instead of causing further damage.

The attention part is simple. Every time you're faced with an emotion caused by something you didn’t control, just watch. Notice how you feel and how you want to react, then ask yourself: Will this help?

If the answer is no, you search for what the best actual reaction would be, then try your very best to do just that.

I said simple, not easy, because this is anything but easy. You’ll be balancing two challenges simultaneously: the challenge of actually paying attention, and the challenge of resisting the urge to react the way you feel like reacting.

This is where part 2 comes in. Actionably putting yourself in situations where your emotions are tested, in other words, doing hard things.

When you’re lacing up your trainers, staring at the cold plunge or looking at the empty page, you’re opening a window into your mind, allowing you to see exactly how it’s feeling and what it’s trying to get you to do.

These are opportunities to get better at paying attention, controlling, and reacting to your emotions. The more you practice, the better you get when something random happens.

Emotional intelligence is a skill, and just like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you get.

Stoicism isn’t toxic; it’s another way of saying "emotional intelligence”, and who wouldn't want to be more intelligent when it comes to the way they feel?