A Rant About Success
I have spoken a lot about success on this blog; it’s probably mentioned at least once each week.
I have even covered some misconceptions about success and what success truly means, as it’s often associated with lots of money, fast cars and big houses.
If you had asked me several weeks ago what my definition of success was, I would have told you freedom. But that answer would be slightly different today.
To achieve the freedom I desired, I chose a path that would have taken even more of my freedom in the present and more again upon acquiring it.
I didn’t like my life, and identified aspects of my life that I disliked the most, then aimed to change them. However, in trying to change them, I realised that I had identified only a small part of the equation. And was simultaneously causing more of the things I didn’t want.
The truth is, I could have won, I could have succeeded, but I would have ended up living a different version of the life I didn’t want.
We sacrifice the thing we want (happiness) for the thing which is supposed to get it (success). - Chris Williamson.
In my case, I was sacrificing the thing I truly wanted (a life of purpose, passion, and fulfilment) for something that was supposed to get it (just simply not living the life I was living, aka, achieving “freedom”). I just didn't know it yet.
I wasn’t necessarily chasing the wrong goal, just doing it through the wrong lens.
I looked at what I hated and used that as a map towards what I wanted, instead of doing the gritty and frustrating work of just finding out what I truly wanted.
After realising I was headed down a path that I didn’t truly want, I’ve decided to pivot and ensure that when I do succeed, it won’t be followed by a depressing realisation that I’ve succeeded at failing.
Figuring It Out
If you think you might be struggling with the same problem, here are a couple of good questions to ask yourself.
If the government paid you 100k each year for nothing, what would you choose to do, what would your ideal day look like?
What do you currently do that you would happily continue doing without ever getting paid for it?
What do you spend most of your time thinking about?
Whatever the answers are to this question, if you’re seeking a life that drives your energy, one that excites you and is connected to you to the core, then you’ll probably want to consider following them.
Believe it or not, this awakening/realisation has come from a long conversation with ChatGPT. After experiencing the same roadblock and feeling that I’ve experienced countless times, and sick of starting the cycle that always led to the same place, I decided to ask the right questions.
The following is the prompt I used to get the conversation going. Feel free to copy and paste into ChatGPT to get the answers you need (if you’re brave enough).
“What questions could you ask me, ones that, upon receiving the answers to, you’re able to see deeply into who I am, what I want, what I’ve been hiding, and what I’m clearly unable to see for myself. These questions need to allow you to tell me exactly what I need to hear, without holding back, without the fear of offending me. I want you to be as accurate and real as possible.”
You'll need to add some of your own context. Is it to do with relationships or career? Whatever it is, ensure it has the necessary context to give you the best answers possible.
It also doesn’t end here, keep going deeper, keep applying more and more of your insight and thought patterns and keep asking more questions.
ChatGPT, in this context, is much better than any human; it removes any emotion or “Logical thinking”, and sticks to only the concrete truth.
The truth is, I already knew what was going to be said when I was reading the questions.
Often, the thing we need to hear the most has been staring us in the face for some time; we just needed a shift in perspective in order to see it.